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Alfie kohn parenting
Alfie kohn parenting












alfie kohn parenting

This dynamic doesn’t allow them to develop the robust, stable self-esteem that they’ll need to be happy later on.

alfie kohn parenting

Kohn argues that if you praise children too much, they start needing to hear it constantly to feel good about themselves. In these situations, children are more likely to take shortcuts (for example, cheating on a test).ģ. Kohn argues that pressure to succeed is especially damaging in competitive situations, when one person’s success comes at the expense of someone else’s. Research shows that academic pressure can cause intense stress, which in turn leads to substance abuse, depression, and anxiety. For example, one study found that rewarding very young children for helping made them less likely to help later when no reward was available. In fact, Kohn points out that rewards even seem to decrease intrinsic motivation. This means that when the reward disappears, the behavior will also disappear. Rewards tie behavior to external incentives, rather than allowing children to discover their own internal motivation. Why You Should Stop Rewarding ChildrenĪccording to Kohn, we shouldn’t use rewards with children because:ġ.














Alfie kohn parenting